When It Gets Better...And It Will.

I thought my life was over at twenty one, seriously. Over. I mean gut-wrenching, scared shitless, no hope, over. 

Those were some of the darkest times in my life, and we all have them; we’ve all been there, in the hole, with a tight lid with no seemingly way out.  Your heart was just ripped out; a dear loved one just arrived in Heaven, your favorite pet just passed, after forty years at the same company you just lost your job and your "security", or maybe a relationship has run it's course. We've all been there; I have, too. When you couldn’t eat, when you couldn’t sleep, when you couldn’t breathe right, much less get out of your own way or stopping pounding on the walls asking ‘WHY?!’

You see there was a day when I couldn’t get off the couch, when my family & friends had to hand feed me, pour me drinks of Gatorade, encouraging me to take just a few sips to nourish my body, in those first few minutes, hours, days and months since my younger & only brother Sean passed in a tragic, unexpected accident. When I had to stare at the police when they told me my brother had “died." Yet, I came to learn in the years after his passing, through much soul-searching, many tears, some anger, resentment, and huge anxiety & paralyzing fear, that death is not real. It doesn’t exist. Period. You see, you were actually taught wrong. Death is simply an illusion, not merely the end.

The good news is that it gets better. It really does. I'm living proof of this little miracle, the illuminating rainbow in the heavy storm. It has been said that before every breakthrough, may come a breakdown, and my momma simply calls it a break. I thought my brother would miss everything in our lives, when in fact, he hasn't missed a thing. He didn't die. Nobody ever dies. What a silly thought. We just go on; we become more magnificent and free, happy, safe, eternal, and all-encompassing love beings. When I got married, you bet he was there in Spirit for all of us- in the form of a beautiful double rainbow, just as we exited the church doors. "You're here," I thought. And damn, that felt so good to know he was with us - and that he will continue to be with us, just as your loved ones will. Sure, there may be some challenging moments, trust they will pass.

You're not going to feel like "this" your entire life. Just do it minute by minute, or rather, second by second. I promise you can make it through this, while still allowing yourself to experience peace and joy again. Our loved ones want us to experience this. In fact, they are experiencing it with you, cheering you on to live your very best life possible! What does this look like for you? Will you allow yourself permission to experience this gift now? I so hope you will; I promise this will only help to strengthen your eternal bond with everyone you love, both here and there.

Blissfully Believing In You,
Anastassia Grace